China's birthday aru
by UnhelpfulPanda
Summary: October tenth 2010-up 2011-late
1. 2010

in this fanfic, N-kun (North Korea) is an ass. im sorry if that offends people.

I won't deny, I love this one.

* * *

"Yao-Yao…vake up, Yao-Yao, it's your birt'day." China moaned, shifting in his bed and bringing the panda-print blanket over his face to block out the sun. "You are avake now, da?"

"Meiyou…" China muttered, turning his back on the Russian. Russia poked (stabbed?) China's ribs with his pointer finger. "Ouch, aru!" China muttered, rolling away from his rough lover.

"Yao-Yao, you have to vake up now," Russia spoke softly, clambering onto the bed. China sat up, giving Russia a death glare, and shoving him off the bed. Russia fell over with a small "owie!"

"Bu, zou kai!" China huffed, rolling over away from Russia. Russia sat up, scowling at the stubborn black-haired man before getting to his feet and leaving. A content smile appeared on China's face.

"Wake up, da~ze!" China groaned at the extra weight that suddenly appeared. "Brother?"

"Get off me, aru!" China ordered. Korea rolled off, bouncing towards the door.

"Happy birthday!" And the black-haired Korean darted off. China sat up quickly. Birthday? That's right…today was October 10th, China's birthday. How could he forget?

China dragged himself out of bed and into the family room, where Taiwan and Hong Kong were talking quietly. Taiwan saw China and glomped him. "Ni hao, Yao-nii! Happy birthday!" She sung.

"Nice to see you, Mei-Mei, aru!" China smiled. He glanced at Hong Kong. "Happy birthday to you too, Hong Kong," He added. Hong Kong puffed out his cheeks and turned his head away in a defiant sort of way.

"Kaoru-nii is in a mean mood today," Taiwan explained. China nodded, frowning. Hong Kong glared at her and stomped off.

"Mei-Mei, have you been…ahem…" China blushed. Taiwan tilted her head questioningly, thinking that over. Then her eyes went wide and her face went cherry red.

"Oh! Oh no oh no oh no!" Taiwan cried. China grinned at the panicking brunette. She shook her head so hard the flower in her hair fell out. "No, China! I am a virgin! I am a pure girl; I haven't even had my first kiss yet! Oh, I've never even been touched intimately by a boy!" Taiwan ranted.

"What is she blathering about?" Hong Kong sneered. Korea draped an arm around the Chinese boy's shoulder.

"She's talking about how much of a virgin she is, da~ze! She hasn't even been kissed yet!" Korea laughed. N-kun (North Korea) scoffed.

"I could fix that."

"Don't you dare lay a finger on her!" Hong Kong shouted. Taiwan blushed. Japan came out, confused at all the yelling.

"What is wrong?" He asked. He turned to Korea. "Yong Soo?"

"Nothing, Love. Just Hong Kong struggling internally about his feelings for Taiwan," Korea replied casually, wrapping his arms around Japan's small waist.

"WHAT?"

"China-nii, I got you new clothes! Please go put them on!" Japan chirped, holding out the red changshan. China studied it.

"This is actually a changshan this time, isn't it, aru?" He asked suspiciously.

"Why, would you think I would get you a cheongsam?" Japan asked mockingly.

"You did last year, aru," China muttered, walking off to change.

"You got him cheongsam, da?" Russia asked when China was out of earshot.

"Fufufufu, of course I did!"

Belarus came out, on the phone with Mexico. "No, no, it's China's birthday. Da, its only natural. Jose, he's my brother's lover; I'm not about to up and leave!" She grumbled.

"Nobody will miss you," N-kun offered mock-helpfully. Belarus glared at him.

"Ah, Yekta is calling. Da. Bye, Jose," Belarus answered the incoming call. "Yekta, where are you?" She asked.

Russia could hear the distinct sound of their older sister apologizing and sobbing. Belarus frowned. "Yekta, just get here when you can. Meet him and then come here. Bye," Belarus hung up.

"Is Ukraine on her way?" Korea asked. Belarus shook her head.

"No, she said that she needed to talk to someone and he said he wanted to meet her and that it was important," Belarus explained.

"He?" Russia stood up. "Tell me his name!"

"Sit down, Brat," Belarus ordered. Russia crossed his arms and sat back down.

"JAAAAAPAAAAAN, ARU!" Japan smirked, watching as China stomped out in a Chinese dress, his face red with anger and embarrassment.

"Yao-Yao, you look so beautiful," Russia smiled, holding out his arms. China reluctantly sat down, glaring daggers at the Japanese man across from him.

"The noodles!" and with that, Japan was gone. Korea blinked.

"Okay then," He shrugged. Japan came back out with bowls of noodles. He set a big bowl in front of China, who smiled back.

"_Ring~! Ring~! ANSWER THE PHONE, RUSSIA_!" Russia yelped in fear, pulling out his cell phone and answering it.

"Privet?"

"_Raivis is trying to kill me_!" everyone in the room heard it.

"Vhat? Explain vhat he is doing. And vhy am I missing t'is?" Russia asked.

"_Not funny! He-hey, that one almost hit me, you little bitch_!"

"_Explain again what you and Finland did, Eduard_!"

"_Wait, wait, Russia likes that vase_!"

"PUT THAT VASE BACK VHERE YOU GOT IT!" Russia shouted into the phone. Silence instead of shattering. "Did he?"

"_Y-y-yes_."

"Good, good. Listen to me; if you two continue t'is shit, I vill torture and kill Latvia," Russia threatened. China's eyes went wide.

"_Don't you dare, Russia_!" Estonia's tone turned threatening.

"Oh, are they having bed-buddy tension?" N-kun asked excitedly. "I love messing with bed-buddies who are having bed-buddy tension!" He cackled.

"_WE ARE NOT HAVING BED-BUDDY TENSION! STOP SAYING THAT_!"

"My threat still stands," Russia cut in.

"_We'll stop for now_." and the line went dead.

"Would you actually hurt Latvia?" Japan asked worriedly.

"Of course not. I just understood that the only vay to get them to stop vas to threaten the submissive one's life," Russia explained.

Ukraine came into the house then, sniffling, and was followed shortly by a confused and worried Dane. Russia shot to his feet. "Vhat you do to Ukraine? You hurt her, Bastard?" Russia shouted.

"C-calm down, Russia. It-it was nothing," Ukraine explained, wiping the tear-tracks from her cheeks. Denmark cleared his throat.

"Sorry to barge in. I just wanted to walk Yekta to the door," He coughed.

"Thank you, Mathias," Ukraine smiled.

"I'm sorry again, Yekta...I just thought-" Denmark started.

"*Yes."

"I'm sorry, what was that?" Ukraine giggled.

"You are funny! I said 'yes'.'' She repeated.

"Yes vhat?" Russia asked suspiciously. Denmark was ecstatic.

"YES! WOOHOO! Alright, see you as soon as I can, Yekta! Bye!" Denmark waved and left, still cheering.

"Vhat vas t'at?" Russia's lilac eyes narrowed.

"Nothing to be concerned about, Russia," Ukraine dismissed. She noticed China sitting on the Russian's lap. "Happy birthday, China," She smiled big.

"Thank you, aru!" China blushed.

* * *

"Truth or dare, Russia?" Russia stopped trying to gnaw on his dog collar, looking up at Hong Kong.

"Dare."

"I dare you to not be able to say anything except for dog sounds for the rest of this game," he smirked. Russia growled deep in his throat. "Yes, like that!"

Russia turned and stared down Taiwan. Taiwan blinked. "Me?" She squeaked.

"Arf!"Russia replied. Everyone stared at him. He stared back blankly.

"Dare..." Taiwan mumbled.

"Kiss Hong Kong," Russia ordered. Taiwan's face went red. China pulled on Russia's leash.

"Ivan!" He cried. Russia made a cute puppy-like whimper, making China blush. Taiwan scooted over to Hong Kong. The Chinese boy raised an eyebrow at her, watching as she squeezed her eyes shut and mentally prepared herself.

"Come on, just do it!" N-kun groaned.

"Shut up, North!" Korea hissed.

"Kiss my ass, South!"

"How bout I kick it instead?"

"Try me!"

"HEY, ARU!" China screamed, pointing to where Hong Kong had captured Taiwan's lips gently. The little brunette pulled away, glancing at the Chinese boy shyly. Hong Kong crossed his arms and remained emotionless.

With a small sob, Taiwan scrambled to her feet and ran into the other room. Her flower fell out of her hair again. Hong Kong looked down guiltily, then ran after her.

"What just happened?" Belarus inquired, coming into the room with her cell phone still open.

"Arf!" Russia replied. Ukraine and China giggled.

"I'll go now! China, truth or dare?" N-kun asked. China bit his lip.

"Truth, aru."

"How far did you and Vietnam go when you were with her?" N-kun smirked. Russia started to choke on his vodka. China paled, ignoring his lover choking practically to death.

"U-uh, we-we...just, um...had sex, aru!" China quickly covered his mouth. Russia's dark purple aura (that China had been keeping away for so long, damn it!) surrounded him and he started to chant something. Slowly, it became loud enough for others to hear.

"Kol...kol...kol...kol...kol...kol..." Japan hugged Korea tightly and cowered into his shirt, while Korea held him equally as tight in fear. N-kun cowered, terror flickering in his dark brown eyes. China hugged Ukraine tightly, making sure to keep his face away from her (inhumanly) large breasts.

Belarus stood there for a moment, the only one who was not frozen in fear by that little chant. She pouted, realizing what she had to do. "And I thought I'd never have to do this again," She grumbled. Russia held up a bloody water pipe and she came to terms with what she knew she had to do.

"**Brother~, let's get married! MARRIED**!" Belarus squealed. Russia screamed like a little girl and darted into the bathroom, locking the door. They all listened as the sounds of Russia barricading the bathroom door were heard.

"I just saved your life," Belarus huffed. N-kun bowed down at her feet.

* * *

China looked up from his new (romance) novel (Quiet Little China Doll) at Russia as the platinum blonde pulled off his shirt and pants and snuggled up against his Chinese lover.

"I still say you shouldn't sleep with your scarf on, aru," China sighed. Russia tugged on it.

"Vhy? I like my scarf," he replied. China set the book down for a moment and tackled the Russian, pinning him down and using his scarf to choke him. Russia's violet eyes went wide.

China let go quickly, fixing the scarf and returning to his side of the bed, where he picked up his book and continued reading. Russia pulled his scarf off (setting it down carefully on China's nightstand), whining at how cruel the Chinese man could be. "You are scary uke, Yao-Yao..."

"Shì de, but you still aren't scared away, aru," China dismissed. Russia looked up at the expressionless black-haired man.

"Do you vant me to go avay?" He asked softly. China looked up, pressing his lips to Russia's.

"Ivan, I'd never want you to leave me, aru. Too many people that I love have left me already, aru." China's shoulders started to shake.

"Eĭ. Not on your birt'day, da?" Russia whispered, kissing China's shoulder. China smiled, setting down his book for the night and resting his head on Russia's pale chest.

"Fine, fine, aru. Goodnight, aru."

"I love you."

"..."

"Yao-Yao?"

China smirked to himself. "I love you too, Ivan, aru. Don't freak out, aru."

Russia pouted. "I did not 'freak out'," He huffed.

"...yet."

* * *

*guess what Ukraine was saying "yes" to

changshan-what chinese men wear  
cheongsam-what chinese women wear (that chinese style dress that no doubt you've seen)

Chinese:  
Meiyou-no  
Bu, zou kai-no, go away  
ni hao-hello  
Shì de-yes

Russian:  
da-yes  
brat-brother  
privet-hello  
Eĭ-hey

I adore the last part! China's not very nice sometimes


	2. 2011

sorry, I know, this one is late too! I'm sooooooooorrrrrrrrrrryyyyyyyy!

* * *

"Yao~!" China opened one eye to see most of his siblings staring at him from over the end of the bed with big eyes.

"Aru?" he asked.

"It's your birthday," Japan grinned, though only his eyes were visible.

"We have a special present for you," Korea added.

"A couple special presents, actually," N-kun retorted.

"We hope you won't mind..." Taiwan trailed off, her eyes darting away.

"We'll clean up after," Hong Kong explained.

"Um, you'll probably love your presents, too! Ana~!" Thailand laughed.

"Yeah, and our first surprise is-!" Vietnam started. At once, all of China's siblings except Thailand jumped up.

"Oh!" Thailand jumped up late, but the effect was the same. They had all worn changshans, with the exception of his two sisters, who wore cheongsams.

"Here's yours!" Japan announced. China laughed, getting out of bed.

"Thank you, aru!" he smiled, going to change. There was silence for a moment or two.

"It was another cheongsam, wasn't it?" Vietnam finally voiced.

"Hai~!" Japan sang.

* * *

China hummed to himself as he got out breakfast ingredients for his family. "Ah, Yao-niichan, you don't have to-" Japan started.

I like cooking for my family, aru," he stated. "Don't deny an old man his simple pleasures."

"But...alright," Japan sighed, walking into the living room. He met lavender eyes and nodded once.

"What would you all want for breakfast?" China asked, turning into the living room.

"Surprise!" China yelped, jumping back away from his fellow countries. He laughed, because they were all in changshans or cheongsams.

"Thank you so much, aru!" he grinned. Italy and France bowed. Romano just huffed.

"What would you like for breakfast?" they all asked. China blinked,

"Feli, your hand," Germany spoke up suddenly. Italy held his hurt hand defensively. "I'll make the food with Romano and France instead, okay?" Germany reasoned. Romano gave a distasteful look, but the three ran off, planning the meal together.

Russia came up and kissed China softly. "Yao-Yao, happy birthday," he smiled. China blushed.

"Ivan, aru, did you plan this with my siblings?" China asked. Russia's grin only widened.

"Oh, Yao-Yao, just have fun!" he replied cheerfully. China narrowed his eyes and nodded slowly.

"Ouch, that's my foot!"

"Then move it, Mei-Mei! Ouch!"

"_Then move it_, Kaoru!" China turned and watched Taiwan and Hong Kong in the hallway, pulling along a big, giant...

"Panda, aru!" China cried, hearts in his eyes. He tackled the huge panda plushie. Taiwan sighed in relief.

"That thing was super heavy!" she sighed. America came up to them.

"China-dude, you want me to take it to your room?" he asked. China grinned big.

"No, aru! I want it in my meeting room!" China smiled brightly. America groaned and picked up the panda effortlessly, taking it where it was wanted.

China sat with his friends and family, laughing and eating noodles. "Thank you all so much, aru!" he smiled. N-kun was humming innocently. "Sang Ki?" China asked warily.

"Yes?" He asked. China looked down at the book entitled "Sex Coupon Book".

"Sang Ki!" he cried, blushing. Russia picked it up.  
"Hmmm...Yao-Yao, let's use this tonight!" he suggested. China's face went red. Thailand jumped to his feet.

"Um, I have this for you, Big Brother! Ana~!" Thailand grinned, handing it over. It was a hair comb with a big lily attached to it.

"But this is for a woman, aru..." China trailed off, then shrugged and put it in his long brown hair.

Japan set down a bottle of sake and a bottle of vodka. Russia imedialy drained the vodka, but China wanted to save his sake. Then Korea and Vietnam set down a photo album of the asian family.

"Awww, thank you, Yong Soo!" China cried, hugging it. He got many more unimportant presents from other countries, too.

* * *

Russia and China were looking through the photo album. "I am glad your family thinks of me as one of them," Russia smiled softly.

"You are part Asian," China reminded. Russia shrugged.

"I knov, but..." Russia pulled out the Sex Coupon Book. "About this..."

China grabbed it quickly, and it opened to a very explicit page. China glanced up, blushing, at Russia. Russia pinned him down. "Ve do it, da?" he grinned. China blushed deeper.

"Whatever, aru..." he trailed off. Russia cheered.

* * *

gosh, this one sure sucks. I had no clue what anyone would get a 4000 year old man lol sooooo sorry about this one =/


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